Perinatal Loss
Coping with Perinatal Loss
Every person’s experience with perinatal loss is personal and unique. There’s no “right” way to feel or cope, and it’s okay to have a range of emotions or responses. Some may feel disbelief, sadness, anger or guilt. Others might experience changes in appetite, trouble sleeping or difficulty concentrating. These reactions are normal, as are more intense emotions that can be influenced by hormonal changes after a loss.
Many patients wonder if they did something to cause the loss, and some are surprised by the depth of their feelings, even if the pregnancy ended early.
Grief is deeply personal, and everyone processes it differently. It’s important to honor your own feelings and allow others affected by the loss to grieve in their way, too.
We’re Here To Support You
At Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center (BIDMC), we understand how difficult this time can be, and we’re here to help. Our social workers specialize in supporting patients and couples during and after a loss. They can provide:
- Supportive Counseling: Helping you process your emotions and navigate grief.
- Practical Guidance: Assistance with decisions like finding a funeral home, if needed.
- Community Resources: Referrals to behavioral health and grief support services in your area.
You don’t have to face this alone. To speak with an OB social worker, please call 617-667-3421 or talk to your obstetrician, who can help with a referral.
BIDMC offers medical and surgical care options following miscarriage. Contact the Division of Obstetrics at 617-667-4600 for more information.
We are here to support you and your loved ones every step of the way.
Frequently Asked Questions About Perinatal Loss
A miscarriage is the early loss of pregnancy. It is very common. One out of every five pregnancies ends in miscarriage.
Most often, miscarriage happens when the pregnancy is not developing normally. In the majority of cases, miscarriage is the body's natural response when the pregnancy is not going along as it should. If a woman has multiple miscarriages, her doctor may look for other possible causes and treatments to prevent miscarriage in the future.
Sometimes a medication called Misoprostol is given to help the uterus contract. This helps make sure all the tissue from the pregnancy is expelled. It works effectively within 12 to 24 hours, 80 to 90 percent of the time. If you and your doctor decide on this option, you will be given a prescription and instructions on how to take the Misoprostol. You will also receive a prescription for pain medication to control any discomfort caused by the cramping.
Sometimes, a procedure is needed to help remove the pregnancy tissue. There are different options available, including a D and C and a manual aspiration . Your doctor will let you know if a procedure is recommended for you. Many women do not need a procedure during or following a miscarriage.
D and C stands for "dilation and curettage." It is a minor surgery where the entrance to the uterus (the cervix) is opened and the contents of the uterus are removed, including any tissue related to the pregnancy. This is an outpatient procedure and can be performed under local or general anesthesia.
Manual vacuum aspiration (MVA) has been proven to be a safe and effective alternative to a D and C. It can be used to clear the uterus of pregnancy tissue following a miscarriage. A thin tube is inserted into your vagina through the opening of your cervix, and the pregnancy tissue is removed using gentle suction. It is usually an outpatient procedure performed under local anesthesia.
Your doctor or other health care provider will discuss with you the options for the pregnancy tissue. The hospital can dispose of the remains or, if you prefer, you have the option of disposition through a funeral home. If you wish, we can assist you in finding a funeral home so you can make your own arrangements. In either case, you will be asked to sign a form before you leave the clinical area. The form indicates what choice you made regarding disposing of the pregnancy tissue.
Most women have some bleeding for several days or weeks after a miscarriage. The bleeding can be like a menstrual period or it could be a little heavier.
Breast tenderness and fullness can also occur and will go away shortly. Ice packs and a tight bra can help with the discomfort.
Most women can go back to their normal activities as soon as they feel able. Sexual intercourse can usually be resumed in one to two weeks if the bleeding has stopped.
You will receive other instructions and information about your care from your nurse or doctor. Please ask us about anything you don't understand.
Most health care providers recommend that a woman wait several months before trying to get pregnant again. Please talk with your individual health care provider about his/her recommendations for you. It is normal to feel anxious that another miscarriage might happen. However, women who have had a miscarriage early in pregnancy still have a good chance of having a normal pregnancy in the future.
