Intimacy and sexuality are frequent issues for women during and after breast cancer treatment. Some of the problems are due to sudden menopause and the resulting lowered libido and vaginal dryness. Some of the problems are due to the larger picture. When you are bald, not feeling well, recovering from treatment, adjusting to a changed body, and/or worrying about mortality, sex can be pretty far down on the interest list.
The bottom line is that this almost always gets better when treatment is completed and you are slowly reclaiming your body and your life.
I am sometimes asked for book suggestions and want to share my short list with you:
Sexuality and Intimacy Bibliography
Altman, Carol. You Can be Your Own Sex Therapist: not specifically cancer-related, but very helpful.
American Cancer Society booklets: For the Woman (or the Man) Who has Cancer and Her (His) Partner. This is available in printed form or may be downloaded from the American Cancer Society website: www.cancer.org/
For Each Other: for both men and women
Heiman, Julia and LoPiccolo, Leslie. Becoming Orgasmic: not specifically about cancer, but written to help women become more comfortable with their bodies and any related issues
Kaplan, Helen Singer MD. The Illustrated Guide to Sex Therapy: written for physicians, but very readable
Schnipper, Hester Hill After Breast Cancer: A Common Sense Guide to Life After Treatment: there is a chapter about sexuality and intimacy post breast cancer.
Schover, Leslie R., PhD. Sexuality and Fertility after Cancer: This book is the classic.