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Doing it Any Damn Way You Choose

Posted 8/2/2013

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  I am so pleased to have this to share with you today. As you know, if you know me personally, I am a rabid fan of dealing with cancer any way you can manage and an equally rabid opponent of the cult of positive thinking. Number one, it makes zero difference to your cancer whether you are furious and cranky or simpering and sweet. Those cells will do what they do--and, hopefully, what they will do is die from the treatment.

  I talk with women almost daily who are so distressed by the insistence of others (note: all people who have not had cancer) to think positively and have a nice day and behave in ways that will enable everyone else to feel better. Not necessary. You are completely entitled to behave and to feel however you want. To be clear: of course, feeling happier is going to improve your quality of life and enable you to have a better day, but there will be times when you just can't do that. On those days, feel free to grumble, to stay in your pajamas on the couch, to eat ice cream for dinner, and to ignore the phone.

  In addition to loving the content of this (new to me) blog, I am happy to make the on-line aquaintance of this writer who refers to herself as "The Cancer Curmudgeon". Here is an excerpt and the link to read more:

I’m Allowed

This post is about allowing myself and encouraging others to do cancer any way we damn well please.

Just prior to starting this blog, and in the hazy days of bouncing back from the treatment side effects, I was in a bit of a depression. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I had no time or energy to find blogs while I was actively in treatment and working my ass off. During treatment I was not happy with the rah-rah/pink/warrior culture that was the most prevalent form of support available (except in the diagnosed-under-40 support group, thank goodness). After I made some life changes, I was pleased to finally be able to take some time and dig around and find blogs or articles that said some of the thoughts that were more like mine, and I began blogging to interact a bit.
Around the same time I found other blogs, I had an epiphany. I was at some event last autumn with other cancer patients and expressing some anger. A fellow attendee started suggesting stress reduction methods, telling me that I must “accept” my cancer and ended her pseudo-lecture with “you can’t be angry all the time.” I was just so sick of this type of lecture; it wasn’t the first time I’d heard words of that nature. And BTW, I don’t think people mean the dictionary definition of “accept” when they tell me to do that; I think they really mean “shut up and sit down”.


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